Comment Wall

Let me know what you think of my Portfolio!! Thank you!!

                                                                     Pixabay: Comments


  1. I really liked your re-interpretation of Rama Wins Sita. I will admit that it is interesting that you used dinosaurs. One thing I am curious about is what kind of creature is the Smilodon. I do not want to assume what it is. I feel that if you explained what type of creature it is, it would better fit in the story. All I know is supposedly many dinosaurs are fearful of this animal. Is it a hybrid of sort? I was confused about the part where the stegosaurus came in. Did anyone know who this stegosaurus was or is he just a mystery dinosaur? I like how the ending was sort of ambiguous. Like, “Hi! I am Jeffery. Now you can leave with me at once.” One way in which you can expand on the story is how Jeffery was able to make it to the side with the Smilodon and how he killed it. It would add some action to the story. I really appreciate how you turned the original story of Rama meeting Sita into a dinosaur tale.

  2. I really enjoyed your story “Denise and the Dinosaurs.” By changing the characters from humans to animals as well as the competition, it does offer a new perspective for readers. I like how you included a geographic barrier to symbolize the difficulty of bending the bow. Rama and Jeffrey were both destined to be victorious, but others struggled due to the difficulty of the task. I also like how you contextualized the important characters in the story. The reader can understand the perspective of both Denise and Jeffery, allowing the story to flow more easily. It’d be interesting to add more characters represented as dinosaurs to fully immerse the original story within your re-telling. For example, Janaka, Sita’s father, could be the God of the ancient rivers to show that he holds more power than Denise, the queen of the river. You could also continue using this style of re-telling in order to write more stories from the Ramayana, with Jeffery and Denise paralleling Rama and Sita’s experience in the epic. Overall, it was a great read!

  3. The first story in your portfolio is really interesting! It was so cute and fun to read. Dinosaurs were definitely very unique and interesting creatures to choose, seeing as the original story is about people. I love how you used your imagination with this! You definitely turned this story into more of a child-like tale or fable, which I really like. I think this shows your creativity and how you were able to make this story your own. I think it would also be really fun if in the future, you used this as a theme. You could tell more dinosaur stories, or you could just retell all of the stories in this child-like way. I think it makes the stories more fun to read and easier to understand. Good job and good luck!

  4. Hey Nicholas!
    I thought that was a really fun first story! I have to admit, I was not expecting the dinosaurs! Reading you authors note, I guess that was sort of the point though, wasn't it- to give people a new and unexpected perspective? Well, it worked! I was drawn in immediately- I liked your title and photo especially. I did a bit of a double take- not what I was expecting in an Indian Epics class.
    I think it might be an interesting take (if you either want to revisit this story or are going to continue on with the dinosaur theme) to have them grapple with their own mortality in your retellings of the story. It could be cool to juxtapose the stories of deities and warriors with the story of dinosaurs who, despite being powerful, are fundamentally also very mortal and fragile. There could be some interesting parallels to draw there too!

  5. Hey Nicholas,

    I really like your first story in the Porfolio. I think that the way you use the dinosaur banner images help me visualizing the dinosaur not as ancient creature that has been portrayed as like giant that are trying to take over the world. I get a sense of cartoonish from your story and I love it. Allow the emotion and conversation go through each Dinosaur make the whole story super exciting to read. I saw that Denise has such high standards and no one has been able to take up to that position. I wonder what make her stand so high. Was she taught like that by her parents or developed just as she is growing up. I think it is a great story though overall. I wonder what the story would be like if you add in another person that would compete for Denise's heart. Would the one quarrel each other and fight it out?

  6. Hello Nicholas! I just read the first story on your portfolio, "Denise and the Dinosaurs". I did not read "Rama Wins Sita", instead I read "Tiny Tales from the Ramayana". Because of this, I read your author's note first to better understand where you started before writing your story. You did a fantastic job informing the reader, especially those who did not read the same book as you, about the original story. I can see the ties between the original and your version of the story. You added many unique and creative elements that made it a joy to read! I also really like your website. It has a great layout that is both visually appealing and easy to navigate. If there is one suggest I can make, it is to include a link to your comment wall on your story page in addition to the link that you have on your main page. This is something that I implemented today on my portfolio as well. It just makes it slightly easier for readers to get to your comment wall!

  7. Hi Nicholas!
    I currently just finished reading your first story in your story book. I did not read "Rama Wins Sita", but instead I read the Tiny Tales of Ramayana. I feel like when reading your story at first it was great but I really didn't have much background knowledge, so once I read your author's note it really clarified and put the story better together for me. I think one thing I really liked about your story was that you did a very good job explaining the original storyline and how it relates to your story. Since we all read different version of the Ramayana we all learned slightly different things, so this was very helpful. Also great job with the layout of the website, it is very easy to navigate. One suggestion that I have is maybe adding a little more to your title page or maybe an introduction page to grasp the readers attention a little more!

  8. Hi Nicholas!
    I really enjoyed both of your stories. They were both low-key pretty amusing to read, especially the first one. I don’t know why, but the names you chose for your characters cracked me up. For your video game story, I love hat you adapted the characters’ personality traits to be more accurate to how we are as humans. What I mean by that is that both of these guys have their flaws: one is arrogant and the other is jealous. The Pandavas are conveyed as humble and perfect next to Duryodhana, which just doesn’t seem realistic, especially in a competition setting, so I thought your characters fit well in this type of setting. I would have loved for the actual competition part of the story to be longer and more in-depth since it is the focal point of the original story, though. The build-up was great, so I think you could make your story end just as strongly as it began. One question I have regarding your author’s note is: have you considered including what changes you made between the first time you wrote this story and this version? Overall, I loved your stories and found them so funny and enjoyable to read.

  9. Hi Nicholas,

    I really enjoyed reading both of the stories on from your portfolio. I liked how both of the stories had a fun and youthful aspect around them. It gives more light to some of the darker and deeper stories in the epics. I also appreciated how you included the picture of a smilodon in your first story. I never knew what they looked like, and it really helped me visualize the story as I was reading. It was really easy to pick up what story you were retelling, even without the author's note, so great job! The second story was also very interesting to read. I really like the concept of a video game challenge. It reminds me of big tournaments that streamers do and how competitive it gets. You could go into more detail with the challenge itself. What game were they playing, and how challenging is it really? I look forward to reading more, great work!

  10. Hello Nicholas!
    I really enjoyed reading your story of "Denise and the Dinosaurs". One thing that I especially liked about this story was how when reading it I was unable to make a connection to any of the original stories from the epics, but after reading your authors note it all became so clear where you got your inspiration from. One thing that I might suggest to add to your story is more details about the dinosaurs. Make fun of me all you want, but I know very little about the types of dinosaurs. You could also add on to this story by including a dinosaur equivalent to Ravana. Making this "cocky" dinosaur fail the task like Ravana did in the original. Just a thought...
    Overall great story! I really enjoyed reading it and look forward to reading more!

  11. Hi Nicholas.
    I really enjoyed your story over Fred and Jason's competition. Personally I was a lot more interested in the Ramayana, but the gambling portion from the Mahabharata was very interesting and your spin with using video games was interesting to read about. A small note that I found to be really funny was how you incorporated the city of Frisco, Texas because that is where i'm from hahaha. I really liked how you gave some background of Fred and Jason, it really made me understand the characters better. I am excited to see if you continue on with this story and elaborate on what happens with Jason and Jessica. I think that would be a great sequel and I will definitely be on the lookout for it. I think you did a really good job of making your own story while keeping the outline of the classic Indian Epic. Great Job!

  12. Hey Nicholas!
    It was really cool to see your Fred and Jason story on your portfolio, I'm glad you got a chance to polish it up a bit. I like that each story has its own banner, that really helps keep them distinct. Denise and the Dinosaurs was a hilarious spin on Rama winning Sita, I really enjoyed the imagery there. Finally, the Cabin in the Woods was a clever way to reframe the burning palace story; I have to admit, I didn't give that story much thought when I first read it in the Mahabharata, so it was surprising (and very cool) to see it retold. Other than the basic editing I'm sure you're already doing, the only things I can think to add are as follows: on the "Home" page, you might toss in a blurb about yourself, maybe something from your introduction post; possibly a few more pictures of dinosaurs to go with the Denise and the Dinosaurs story; and (only if this makes sense for what you're trying to do, thematically) maybe a character image for the Cabin in the Woods story - something like a scene from Scooby Doo comes to mind, for some reason.
    Regardless, great work!

  13. Hello Nicholas! I really enjoyed reading your new version of "The Princes Arrive in Benares". I am glad you gave some background about Steve because giving as much information to the reader as possible can be really helpful when trying to understand the character while reading the story. This also allows us to develop a relationship with the character and feel for them. I really liked that you changed the characters to students going to a coaches house. Very clever! I liked that you kept a sort of scary aspect to the story and made it seem as if Steve needed to go in order to fit in and earn a spot on the team. I really enjoyed reading this story and was very impressed with the little twists you threw in there to spice the story up a little bit!


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