Week 3 Story: Denise and the Dinosaurs
Along the ancient rivers roamed tons and tons of dinosaurs, ranging from big ones, little ones, young ones, and the very old ones. They all had one goal and it was to win over Denise. Denise was the queen of the ancient rivers, and was one that everyone drooled over. She was very pretty with dark green eyes, a beautiful smile, and was liked by everyone. Denise on the other hand, struggled to find her king because of her high standards, so she made it a competition.
"Alright everyone, listen up. In order for me to find my King, there is one thing I need everyone to do." yelled Denise.
"Do you see that lion walking around on the other side of the river. Whoever can kill him and bring him back to me will win over my heart" commanded Denise.
This caught the attention of almost every dinosaur roaming around the river because this was their chance to impress Denise, and finally have that shot they have been dreaming of. Many of the dinosaurs started immediately after her command, but were too scared that the lion would tear them to pieces. As Denise glanced on, she suddenly became sad that there was no one that could meet the standards she had hoped for.
"All I want is for someone to impress me." Denise murmured to her parents. "Iv'e been roaming across these ancient rivers for too long, and feel like this is the chance for me to finally meet my man."
As the day turned into night, many of the dinosaurs were still trying to get to the lion, but many struggled reaching across the river, and some even got washed away. It was sad to see Denise like this, knowing that no man was ever going to win her heart over. As the time struck 7, everyone heard this loud rawr from the other side of the river, and had seen that the lion had gone down.
"THIS CAN'T BE TRUE. THIS CAN'T BE TRUE." said Denise with tons on joy
As Denise was overwhelmed with emotion, the dinosaur that killed the lion approached her.
"I believe this is what you have wanted all along." said the dinosaur boldly
"And who are you"? Denise said with a blushed face
"I'm Jeffrey, I believe we should go now."
Authors Note: This story is based off of the story Rama Wins Sita from Ramayana by Romesh Dutt. (1899) This story was about how many people wanted to win over Sita's heart, and Rama was the one to be able to bend the bow. My story is similar to this one, but I changed the people to dinosaurs, and instead of the competition being about who can bend the bow, It was about which dinosaur would be brave enough to kill the lion.
I like how you made a twist to the Rama story. I enjoyed reading this story from a different point of view. You took a fun twist on this story. It's perfect because I can picture the Rama story while reading yours. The relationships between the two are very clear.
ReplyDeleteWhat I liked the most about your story was how it made me laugh. The last line by Jeffrey was honestly pretty funny. A way you could improve the story is to say what kinds of dinosaurs are competing for Denise. Because it would not make much sense for dinosaurs of different species than Denise to compete. Unless she is just that beautiful. Other than that good story.
ReplyDeleteThis story was a hilarious read in comparison to some of the more serious tales, and I enjoyed your perspective in turning it into a story about dinosaurs. I love how the dinosaurs had to compete for the heart of the queen and the story ended with Denise falling in love with a dinosaur simply named Jeffrey. Great writing, I hope you keep the humor up!
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