Week 9 Story: The Cabin in the Woods


Many many years ago, a very shy, but curious guy named Steve was going on with his day like normal. He would wake up, go straight to the gym, hang out with his friends, and then go to bed. It was rinse and repeat for him since it was summer, and was his only free time he could get to train to be on the football team. He was small for his age, but that never stopped him from going after what he wanted. He wasn't the most popular guy at the school in Colorado, but was someone everyone enjoyed hanging out with. After many continuous days of him working out over summer, he got a call from an unknown number. He was hesitant to answer the call because he was so shy, but thought it was an opportunity where he could finally face his fear. He finally got the courage to answer, but it was a suspicious call from the guy on the other line. He said, "I know you are training for the football team, and was wondering if you wanted to come check out the facility and maybe train there some day?" 
Steve thought that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and felt like this was something he could not pass up. Although he was very skeptical, this could be the his way to gain an edge on his other peers trying out for the team. Steve told his mom about this opportunity, but she was not having it. She thought that it was very sketchy, but was happy he even got a call from someone who can help him train. Steve decided to go to the training facility, or so he thought. They both drove two hours to go to this facility, but when they arrived, it was this big mansion that was in the middle of nowhere. There were no houses anywhere in sight, there was no facility, but there was this huge mansion right in front of them. They decided to walk up to the door, but his mom said that he doesn't have to stay if he doesn't feel comfortable. As they entered through the front door, there was a strong stench, like gasoline was about to blow up the whole house.

"Patrick, what are you doing here? You're my football coach, why didn't you just tell me it was you?" said Steve.

"I really wanted you to come check out my place, and maybe talk some football," said Patrick.

Something was not adding up to Patrick and his mom, and thought that is was very odd in the first place for his coach to invite him to his place. His place not only smelt like gasoline, but it was just creepy looking inside. There were no neighbors, no facility, and had a house two hours from the school. As Patrick and his mom walked towards to door to leave, his coach stopped them and invited them to stay for dinner.

"Please stay. I want you guys to enjoy your time here, and not have to worry about anything. I was going to make a nice meal for all of us,"exclaimed Patrick. 

They both agreed to stay for dinner, but out of the corner of Steve's eye, he saw his peer from his football tryouts standing on the top on the stairs. He warned both of them to get out of the house, and leave as soon as possible.

"Leave now, he is going to burn this house down,"whispered John.

As soon as Patrick turned his head, Steve and his mom tried to find a way to exit without him noticing. They found an underground tunnel, which was full of dead mice, but this was their only escape if they wanted to live. They were full of mud and dirt, and kept going to towards the end of the tunnel until they reached the end. Little did they know Patrick was at the end of the tunnel waiting from them.

"Let us go. We don't want to stay for your stupid dinner, and oh by the way, we know John is here so let us all go because something bad happens," yelled Steve.

For some reason he decided to let them go, but was a day John and his mom will always remember.

Author Note: My story is based off the story The Prince arrives at Benares. I decided to tell this story because when I was doing the reading notes, I felt like it was a story I could put a cool twist on. In the original story, Purochana told the Pandavas that there was this nice house not to far from them that they could stay out. The decided to go to the house because they did not want to look suspicious to Purochana. The Panvadas smelt gasoline coming from the house, and was warned from their uncle that this place would be burnt to the ground. They were warned that the only way to escape was to go through this secret tunnel. In my story, I sort of of kept the same plot, but gave a background about Steve. I decided to change the characters in the story, and make it about a coach trying to invite his student to his house for "training." I also wanted to keep the "haunted house" aspect to the story, and give them a sense of fear when they hear that the house is going to be burnt down. I also changed the fact that Steve did not know who's house he was going to, but felt like he needed to to get a spot on the team. I thought this was a fun story to write, and changing to story up a bit helps the reader understand a similar story with a different spin on it.



                                                         Pixabay: Cabin in Colorado




Comments

  1. Hello Nicholas!
    I enjoyed reading your story based off of the story "The Prince Arrives at Benares." While reading your story I thought it sounded crazy, almost like a horror story about a killer coach. I think that your story has a really good plot but it could be so much better with a few more details. Like maybe explain the coach and his intentions in a little bit more detail! Overall it was a great story!

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  2. Hey Nicholas,

    This was a really fun story to read. I love writing horror stories. Most of my stories up until now have been horror or thrillers so this was right up my alley. I think your story could be even better with the addition of some more details to really flesh out the setting and the characters' thoughts. Overall though great job!

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